Tales of a Mustachio Man

Well the highly awaited second post has arrived. Fittingly it has appeared in November, OR if you like your looks shifty and your women at arms length, Movember.

Insofar as silly ideas go, this one is a gem, for a whole month you can attempt to grow the most heinous of fashion mistakes, and be seen as a nice guy while doing it. I am currently on day 10 (having given myself 1 day head start in October) and the little fella is coming along nicely. Is it wrong to name a mustache? Either way its too late. I have named him and as in all good fantasy books, once you name something you give it life.

Meet Brian, or to those more comfortable with titles of airs and graces he can be referred to as
"The Od'e to Hulk Hogan" either is fine by me.

Not being one that had sported the "Handle Bar" before it came as a little shock to find that, just like people who wear hot pink shorts or talking to themselves on a train, society will shun you based solely on your appearance!

So after a week of being under the glass ceiling of society here are some handy little tips to help my hairy brother or sisters.

1) If you notice a waitress is giving you more than your fair share of looks from across the room, it is not because she likes you, she is just waiting to call the cops.

2) Smile, this will either put people at ease or unsettle them, either way you win.

3) Childrens playgrounds - Dont.

4) Do not walk directly towards the following - Old ladies, children, cute women waiting for a cab, your reflection

5) While stroking your Mo' (and you will, a lot) make sure you are not leaning against anything. I'm not sure what this image impresses onto the general public, but I could feel a lynch mob forming

6) In direct contrast to #5 , stroking you Mo' whilst holding a cat is a great crowd pleaser. Go figure?

7) The staff of a toy shop (or any boutique) will make it pretty clear that a 6"1' 100Kg man with a Mo' is not welcome.

8) don't expect to be kissed and/or pick up ( for those of you in a RPG frame of mind, add -57 from you "Collared shirt of attraction"

9) I don't know how Tom Selek did it, but it is bloody hard to get either side of the Mo' to be identical

10) If urgent defense of the Mo' (and the owner) is needed, say these words:
" I'm going for the pseudo gay trucker look" The best defense is always a good offence.

May the tash' be with you.