iPod Generation

Yes I know. I swore that I would never do it, but lets be honest for a second. I say a lot of things, and I hardly uphold any of them. So you may feel disappointed but not surprised to find that I have joined the legions of white headphone-ed groupies and purchased an iPod. I will give you a second to throw fruit.

OK feel better?

Its not that I really had a need to be entertained whist jogging ( for the sole reason that Philmy does not jog) but I did have a good reason. I am currently coaching a junior football team in the NSW Gridiron Football league. You can now also throw fruit.

I had decided to make a weekly podcast of the team as the moved through the season. So THATS why I now have an iPod.

Anyways if you like you can check out the podcast on iTunes ( that lower case "i" is getting a little annoying) or have a look on YouTube in each case you can just search the term "Predcast" as the teams called "Predators" and its a "Podcast" , fuck I should be in marketing or something.

Links are here:
YouTube - http://youtube.com/watch?v=fHOfeqrDbHc
Website - www.web.mac.com/ccp_tv

forbidden lie$ DVD Review

This is a startling documentary.
Director Anna Broinowski takes us on what can only be describe as an unbelievable ride as we follow the now infamous , Norma Khouri ( Author of the book Forbidden Love ) on a quest to find the truth behind the book, its story and Norma.

As I sat through the first 30 min of this film, I was amazed at the lies and half truths shrouding this apparently "True Story" . As the film progress I found my eyebrows of surprise and amazement raising ever higher.

But the problem with eyebrows can only go so high, and after about the 60 min mark they had reached their pinnacle of performance. Unfortunately Forbidden Lies had not. The lies and the incorrect facts still had plenty of ammunition left.

Not wanting to spoil any of the gobsmackingness for anyone wanting to watch this film, I will not expose any of the key points. Suffice to say that this film had me wrapped from the word go, and didn't let go until the credits rolled. It is a very well put together film, and here is why.

At first I felt sorry for Norma, she was clearly the victim of a bit of over selling and publishing hype. But the film makers had been counting on my empathy, and when the lies of Norma are exposed (again and again) I had a small feeling of betrayal, (again and again) until the point where I simply could not believe the level of half truths and misleading information. I started to feel as if she had lied to me & my grandmother!

Fair to say that this film sucks you in. Makes you believe. Tears down the story and exposes the truth. You will be out of breath when the credits roll, and your forehead will hurt from the strain of keeping your eyebrows up for so long.

This is an excellent example of great Australian film making.
Rush out and rent it now
Forbidden Lie$ rates 5 arched eyebrows out of 5
You can also read this review at The Movie Show.

JJ Abrams is a bastard

Not being content with all the current mysteries in my life, I decieded to go along to the new JJ Abrams project "Cloverfield".

NB: I am aware that the interweb will be Chock-A-Block with reviews and comments on this movie. However, I will take the ever present tangent on this one.

I was quite fond of the Lost series and kept pace with it up until the end of series 2. After that I couldn't be bothered. Questions and unknowns raised their heads like disturbed readers at a council library. I couldn't take it anymore so I walked away.

Knowing this as I did, I still went to Cloverfield. First I must say that
a) I enjoyed it , 3.5 stars in all
b) I know that a self induced injury cant be complained, but that wont stop me.

In true JJ, style there is a thrilling ride, and a lot of questions but no freakin answers. Which thankfully brings me to my point.

If I want something thats long, confusing & has no answers, I have my life.
So for the next few days I am forgetting the Cloverfield thing, and focusing on my life with the following questions.

1) How does my overweight cat know the value of items in my house? And why does it find the most expensive items the most comfortable?

2) Does every single car heading towards me have its high beams on, or am I just at an unfortunate height, whilst sitting in my car?

3) How come everyone knows my "secret back way" when driving to work. Who told them, it wasn't me.

4) What the hell am I going to do with my kitchen draw full of plastic bags? You can't recycle them, can't throw them out. They are the bag equivalent of the 5 cent piece.

5) At supermarkets, when something is on special, why does the advertising sticker say "Only $1.40 each OR 2 for $2.80!" am I missing something here, I don't think thats a bargain, it certainly dose not deserve an exclamation mark.

6) Really, I mean really, how much dose it cost to make a bag of popcorn? $8.00 for a large bag. I feel sorry for the 14 year old serving at the candy counter. It must be damn depressing to be selling something that it would take 2 hours work for you to buy yourself.

I'm Not There (yet)

First let me say sorry.
I often find that is the best way to start a conversation with someone that you have been giving the silent treatment to. I remain ever hopefull that I will hear those exact words from my girlfriend , one day.

Now to the nitty gritty.
Yes. I have been a lazy bastard, and yes I have not been so busy that I could not have dropped in and typed up a few words. However, lazy as I am, I have been given new resolve.

I was reading an article in some paper that mentioned some statistics, that of all the 60,000,00 blogs in the world 57% of them are posted to once or twice in a month, and then never again.
* please note I have completely made up these figures, but i always find emphasis works better as a big number.

So even though this blog is under nourished , and craving attention like a flat chested cousin at the Playboy Mansion. All is not lost. I will add to this blog and I will not feed it cheap fast facts ( yummy though they are ) So I ask you to bear with me as I think of interesting and emotive things to report.

That is all.

"30 Days Of Night" Moive Review

** excessive use of the word Poo may occour.
This is something that I hope to do quite a bit more of. I love movies and all things film related.
Hopefully you will be inspired to go and see something I recommend or avoid wasting your time on something crap, anyway here goes.

30 Days of Night, is a movie based on a graphic novel (aka Comic book) written by Perth born Ben Templesmith. The movie to be short , is crap. There is some good suspense and a little on the horror side of things. However that is where the redeeming elements end.

Now I am not the best person to see a horror flick, mainly because I like, nay, Demand , that logic be present and accounted for. I have no problems with the idea of vampire, nosferatue, santa or Jesus. But if you spend 30 minutes setting up a world of characters and rules then for Gods sake, stick to them!!

For those of you that want to know more about the film or the story there are plenty of places you can find out, but I dare say that this is the only place where you can read about the plot holes and the naffness. So if you want to see this movie beware SPOILER AHEAD, and I mean a big one!

ok here goes.
1. How does someone destroy all the mobile phones, faxes, telephones, cable, internet, and radios all in one day, and no one but two cops notice?
2.Vampires are allowed to speak english , its been done before, having them cry and moan in some strange language, then making me read subtitles, is stooopid
3. If you tell the audience that there are 128 people in the town at the start of the movie, you cant show 200 people getting killed, find a calculator.
4. Vampires on a murderous rage that kill 195 people on the first night, dont have another 70 people to kill in the next 30 days. Where are all these extra victims coming from? Are they being air dropped in?
5. Why cant vampires, with their extra smell, strength and whot not, find 12 people that are hiding in a well hidden attic?
6. How come in 30 days, no one poos, eats, or drinks?
7.Why do you spend 29.9 days fighting vampires only to make yourself become one in the lasst 0.1 of a day? Is it to rescue the girl hiding under the truck? She's been hiding there for a month another 20 minutes would be ok.
8. Why AFTER condemning yourself to death, does your old flame reveal to you that she still loves you, talk about bad timing!
9. Melissa George, a fire marshal, in Alaska?? What the hell is a fire marshal anyway, do they marshal the fire towards the water?
10. What possible reason did the 10 surviving people think that they needed to move to the other end of town, on the last day before the sun cam back? You have been in the Attic ( without pooping or eating), for a month, don't go running all the way over the vampire invested town on the last day, just to make sure you are safe!

So there you go, now you don't need to see it. If you still have the urge you can always get some home made popcorn lock yourself in a wardrobe and see how long you can last with out pooping!

If you would like to see a real review of this film you can head here instead

Tales of a Mustachio Man

Well the highly awaited second post has arrived. Fittingly it has appeared in November, OR if you like your looks shifty and your women at arms length, Movember.

Insofar as silly ideas go, this one is a gem, for a whole month you can attempt to grow the most heinous of fashion mistakes, and be seen as a nice guy while doing it. I am currently on day 10 (having given myself 1 day head start in October) and the little fella is coming along nicely. Is it wrong to name a mustache? Either way its too late. I have named him and as in all good fantasy books, once you name something you give it life.

Meet Brian, or to those more comfortable with titles of airs and graces he can be referred to as
"The Od'e to Hulk Hogan" either is fine by me.

Not being one that had sported the "Handle Bar" before it came as a little shock to find that, just like people who wear hot pink shorts or talking to themselves on a train, society will shun you based solely on your appearance!

So after a week of being under the glass ceiling of society here are some handy little tips to help my hairy brother or sisters.

1) If you notice a waitress is giving you more than your fair share of looks from across the room, it is not because she likes you, she is just waiting to call the cops.

2) Smile, this will either put people at ease or unsettle them, either way you win.

3) Childrens playgrounds - Dont.

4) Do not walk directly towards the following - Old ladies, children, cute women waiting for a cab, your reflection

5) While stroking your Mo' (and you will, a lot) make sure you are not leaning against anything. I'm not sure what this image impresses onto the general public, but I could feel a lynch mob forming

6) In direct contrast to #5 , stroking you Mo' whilst holding a cat is a great crowd pleaser. Go figure?

7) The staff of a toy shop (or any boutique) will make it pretty clear that a 6"1' 100Kg man with a Mo' is not welcome.

8) don't expect to be kissed and/or pick up ( for those of you in a RPG frame of mind, add -57 from you "Collared shirt of attraction"

9) I don't know how Tom Selek did it, but it is bloody hard to get either side of the Mo' to be identical

10) If urgent defense of the Mo' (and the owner) is needed, say these words:
" I'm going for the pseudo gay trucker look" The best defense is always a good offence.

May the tash' be with you.

There Is No Nice Way To Say This....

This being my first ever all time blog, I will need to get somethings out of the way. Let me set you an example.

Have you ever been at a party or a dinner/drinks and everything is going swimmingly. The cuteish chick in the corner has just joined your conversational circle, and the night seems to be heading in what some may term as "the right direction".
Then and only then, the smart arse to your left , response to a comment all too quickly. So quickly in fact, that you know that it has gone straight from the brain to the mouth and bypassed the official "Check what you are about to say , before saying it" organ (aka, measure twice, cut once). Political Correctness is thrown out the window. Half the group laugh, the other half stare blankly. The room chooses that moment to fall into a lull of silence & the cute girl wavers, slaps the commenter, then failing the appearance of a white knight, flees.

Typically thats me. Now I know you are thinking , "well he must be the chap, that the cute(ish) girl is talking to" I know you are thinking that, and your dead wrong. I am the one slightly to the left with a fading pink hand print on his cheek, and sheepish look.

So this blog is to be a safe and slap free way of me venting and/or ranting. I generally have 5 things to rant about a day, but my safety catch ( commonly know as " lazy arsedness" ) will prevent me blogging with any kind efficiency.

So keep an eye out for my future blogs, or not. I hope you enjoy reading my rants and other random thoughts that I may have, and if not, then get bent.